Describe yourself in one word. What?

When did one aspect of a person become their title? Virgin, slut, gay, straight, black, white, smoker, non-smoker, etc. Roomie told a few friends last night that I was a virgin, almost like it was my name or something. She did not mean to be mean or put me down or anything. But it just got me thinking. Is that it? Is that who I am? A virgin? Because I was under the impression that I was so much more than that.
But maybe that's what it comes down to...maybe the aspects that seem to seperate people the most is how someone is defined.
Neiling (n): a virgin.
Like it's a dictionary definition or something. That's not how I want to be defined. I need a whole fucking encyclopedia set to describe myself. And yet it seems to be simplified to a single word.
And the sad part is...it started to make me feel pathetic. In college, are we supposed to be virgins? Is it such a bad thing that I have self respect and think I deserve better than a drunken fuck by someone who doesn't give a shit about me? Yeah, I am sure it would be easier to give it away that way. Discard the hassle of virginity in college. But my heart. My heart could never let me do that.
The point is, I think everyone deserves a deep, intimate connection with someone they love. Until I am at that point, I refuse to give it up.
So am I a virgin? Yes.
Does that define me? Not in the least.
I am way too weird to be described in a single word. Haha.
That's just me.
;-) Neiling <3

The insanity begins...

Blog numero uno:
Ah a little place to vent about frustrations and rant about the odd thoughts in my head. Oh God help us all. Hehe.
However the frustration section isn't gonna be very prevalent today. Things haven't completely fell into place but just taking things as they come definitely helps. Things will work out on their own time. So we'll skip the bitching for today...
Optimism shall prevail.
For now :-).
Okay, deep thought that I haven't gotten a chance to get out to the public since I had it. This fucking kept me awake thinking about it. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago, to a song I've heard a million times. But I was listening a lot more carefully, and I was intrigued by the lyric, "I heard an honest man lie".
Interesting.
So I started thinking about liars and honest people, and more generally, good and bad people. If an honest person tells a lie, they are no longer considered honest, even though they usually tell the truth. As soon as the fact that they lied that one time is revealed, they are pegged as a liar.
Does one bad thing really cancel out all the good?
And a generally good person who does one really bad thing, is automatically a bad person. Why does the bad stuff always have to outweigh the good, even when it's not as prevalent?
Then I was thinking about darkness being the absense of light, as evil is the absense of goodness. So shouldn't a good person who does somnething really bad just be a little dimmed?
Okay, perhaps I think too much. But it's just one of those thoughts you have to verbalize, or rather "bloggerize".
Wow.
That was lame.
Oh well.
So apparently it was snowing for a few minutes today, fucking Ohio. It's not even freaking Halloween yet. And now it's raining. Snowing and raining. And we're not in winter or spring. Ugh. And a half. Times fourteen point seven.
Speaking of Halloween...damn so excited. I love that I have friends that will dress up like idiots with me. So we will be the anti-whore witches. Yay! Lol. God it's been forever since I've gone out due to the suckiness of working third shift weekends. Boo. I am way overdue for a night off.
***Work frustrations. Jesus Christ, oh well we will let it go.***
Ugh, I gotta read accounting, do my accounting homework, and study for a micro quiz in the next few hours. And I have yet to Facebook. So I better go...
Nice talking with ya.
;-) Neiling <3