When did one aspect of a person become their title? Virgin, slut, gay, straight, black, white, smoker, non-smoker, etc. Roomie told a few friends last night that I was a virgin, almost like it was my name or something. She did not mean to be mean or put me down or anything. But it just got me thinking. Is that it? Is that who I am? A virgin? Because I was under the impression that I was so much more than that.
But maybe that's what it comes down to...maybe the aspects that seem to seperate people the most is how someone is defined.
Neiling (n): a virgin.
Like it's a dictionary definition or something. That's not how I want to be defined. I need a whole fucking encyclopedia set to describe myself. And yet it seems to be simplified to a single word.
And the sad part is...it started to make me feel pathetic. In college, are we supposed to be virgins? Is it such a bad thing that I have self respect and think I deserve better than a drunken fuck by someone who doesn't give a shit about me? Yeah, I am sure it would be easier to give it away that way. Discard the hassle of virginity in college. But my heart. My heart could never let me do that.
The point is, I think everyone deserves a deep, intimate connection with someone they love. Until I am at that point, I refuse to give it up.
So am I a virgin? Yes.
Does that define me? Not in the least.
I am way too weird to be described in a single word. Haha.
That's just me.
;-) Neiling <3
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